Pillow Talk: Finding "The One"

It's been a long time I want to share this kind of stuff to you, guys. I've been married for 5 years, in a relationship for almost 8 years and still counting. Not that I said I'm the expert. Hell no, relationship isn't about perfection, we both been through a lot of things, the worst fight and breakdown. But, we always come back to each other. Relationship is about understanding each other and embrace our imperfections. But, through your journey in life you might meet some guys and you got confused of finding "The One".

Note: This was based on my experience, no offense to anyone.

1. Take it slow

   Don't be such in rush through your journey, explore your life. Give chances to some guys in your life to get to know you. Don't be a relationship just because your friends all did. Just because you're fall in love in your young age, doesn't mean he's the one. You have to take it slow in everything. Yes, I repeat, in EVERYTHING. You might regret things if you're only know 1 or 2 guys in your life, duh. Life is short, enjoy your life, find your best, get to know there are so many different characters in life. Finding the right one is important, because it will change your whole life.

2. Set Standard

    After you meet your candidates, you have to set your standard if you want to get serious. Don't date someone with problem like drugs, smoker (again, no offense), playboy or criminals, duh. See his background, whether he's smart, has a lot of friends, his relationship with family, and of course the same lifestyle. It will be easier if you both have the same hobbies as well, but if you don't have the same hobbies, it's okay. Me and my husband don't have much same hobbies, but we manage to get along. In fact, we complete each other. 

3. Love vs Lust

       It might look similar, but there's difference between love and lust. In your teens age, your hormones really affected you, so if you get into wrong association, you will fall and makes huge mistakes in your life. I've seen a lot of people in my high school through that. So, that is why, it's better you make a decision when you grew up. Well, some of my friends lucky they met their soulmate from high school, still together until today! And for myself, I met my husband at college. 

       When you're mature enough, you can use your logic when you got close to someone. You can control yourself, and think what's best for you. You can tell is it true love or just lust? If it's pure lust, you will regret because it's toxic love relationship. It's okay and normal to feel lust at the beginning, because it is the first stage of falling in love. You attracted to his physical appearance, strong desire, but not deep emotional conversations, or discuss your feelings. From lust, to attraction, you finally can't spend a day without thinking about him. I had broke up with my husband for a month, and we still come back together. We've been through a love-struck phase. Time flies, after you both know each other for a long time, you already know your partner personality inside out, the imperfections as well and still choose to love and accept each other, that's when you're in deep love and commitment.

4. It will bring out the best of you

        When you're with the right person, just remember it will bring out the best of yourself. You will become a better person inside out. He will support what's best for you and without any doubt will criticize you as well. If he's the right one, he will also bring you closer to your family. Not the opposite, if your partner brings you away from your family even fight with them, you should question yourself,

"Is this kind of person that I want to spend my life with?" 
"Is this person more worth than my family that had spend your whole life with you?" 

Put aside your emotions for a while and use your logic, there must be something wrong in this relationship if it has negative effect with people around you. Yes, love is blind, but not stupid.

All of this was based on my experience, no offense to anyone. 
That's all for now, I hope you find this article useful and if you have a question, or suggest topic for the next Pillow Talk, let me know by leaving comment here

xoxo, bee 

Share this:



  1. good article


  2. First of all, I love your name. Tabitha is also my daughter's name. Girl, love your blog. You are freakin' adorable! Thanks for stopping by.
    Have a wonderful day!
    Much love, Len

  3. These are great tips :) I wish I find the one soon x


  4. Thank you for this post ce!



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Instagram @tabithabudiman